Pursuing Your Personal Liberation: You Do Not Owe Anyone a Success Story

Modern society seems like a dirty race. The pressure to keep up is intense and social media appears persistently adorned with appearances, glamour and glory. The story of the life and eventual death of Jason Arday may be ample proof of how the pressure to perform can drive people into lives of deceit and cooked-up success stories. Whatever his faults or missteps might have been, I do not believe they are fatal. Nonetheless, it is imprudent to offer even the smallest entry point to vultures and scoundrels who are already scavenging for morsels and carcasses. The belief that a good life consists in achieving certain milestones at particular ages—such as 40-under-40 and other likely staged award schemes—can make otherwise diligent and steadily productive people feel like failures and dead-end cases. But the lives of some of the most accomplished people demonstrates the irregularity of our individual paths to growth and greatness. I submit that beyond pursuing inner fulfilment, personal impact and peace of mind, you do not owe anyone a success story. I shall proceed to discuss some ideas on how we may live in pursuit of our unalienable right to life, liberty and happiness as the Creator intended it.

Other people’s timelines are not yours. Your age is not an accurate and reliable indicator of where you should be in life. Everyone is born with a unique set of advantages and disadvantages and these directly affect how your life progresses. Our individual starting points would unavoidably vary. Personalities, family circumstances, mistakes, curveballs, false starts etc, can all have a profound effect on how early you arrive on life’s journey. The relevant question is whether you are making meaningful progress rather than striving to meet a deadline imposed by society. Acquire tradable skills, avoid or reduce debt, eat healthily, exercise regularly, develop valuable relationships and be consistent with little things that lead to sustained growth and improvement in your life.

Your peace over an image. There are people so obsessed with appearing super successful that they can no longer be honest about the actual circumstances. These are people who borrowed clothes in school and would later lie about sending their imaginary driver on an errand. LinkedIn is replete with concocted professional identities and embellished corporate profiles belonging to people who have no real classmates. Do not embellish for effect. Tell the absolute truth about your circumstances to the people who matter in your life. Never give up your authenticity to project a fictional version of yourself for the approval of other people who are probably unaware you exist. It is sanctimonious stupidity to project an image of grandeur and then return to the shack where you sleep looking morose. I once had an employee who told everyone his father was rich and in charge of some Ga stool lands. He cultivated the image of a rich kid who only worked to gain experience. One day, he got caught and arrested for forgery and stealing from the office. When investigators went to his house, they discovered he and his entire family of five (5) slept in one room!

Have an independent life. Dedicate time and effort to pursuing something that is yours. A business, partnership, social enterprise, a not-for-profit, or anything derived from your ingenuity or active collaboration and whose structure gives you a reasonable claim of ownership and control. These must originate from a place of passion and genuine interest as these would fuel your willingness to persevere in the face of difficulties. They are symbols of your own emancipation and a demonstration of purposeful living. If you have not yet built the capacity to own any of these, you may align yourself with others who are pursuing something you consider worthwhile and offer yourself in every constructive way. I do not mean selfish ingratiation. I refer to offering something of value and ensuring the arrangement provides reasonable financial and non-financial rewards.

Stay clear of conflict. Brazilian author Paulo Coelho once said “This world is full of idiots distributed strategically so you can meet at least one per day”. On average, most people encounter daily provocations that may drive them to a point of debasement. These provocations may include getting cut off in traffic by another driver or rider, receiving derisive looks, encountering insulting gestures, receiving rude commentary or responses that are typical of uncouth people. You must always exercise your highest prudence and be determined to avoid putting yourself in the path of all such provocations. If you get into a street brawl with another driver or OKADA rider, you might either win a street fight nobody would care about the next morning or you might go home with torn buttons and a bloody nose you cannot explain. Promise yourself never to go down that path of foolishness. Always keep your calm; respect people’s personal spaces and always walk away from anything that looks like a fight, loud and ugly confrontations, and foolish arguments. In Desiderata, Max Ehrmann writes, “Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit.”

Make peace with failure.  On average, most successful entrepreneurs experience several failed businesses or major projects before building a profitable, lasting enterprise. The cofounder and CEO of a thriving financial institution in Ghana recently opened up about experiencing seven (7) failures before his current venture. In his book the UT Story, Prince Kofi Amoabeng writes about several unsuccessful ventures prior to the founding of UT. Failure teaches. Some failures are a redirection. Others are character formation and perhaps the beginnings of something even greater. Be relentless in the pursuit of any goal or target but also face reality about the nature of your progress and change course, if necessary.

Fix your finances. Don’t borrow. Save, invest and find legitimate ways to increase your income. If at all possible, owe no one anything, especially money. The borrower is a servant to the lender. There are entire industries built on the belief that there will always be people who have chosen not to live within their means. Don’t borrow just to impress people. Don’t get into financial commitments for the sake of boys-boys and girls-girls. If your lifestyle requires that you be dishonest about your finances and constantly run from creditors, you would have effectively resigned yourself to future of penury.

Your success is measured against your values, growth and social contribution. Your life is not a performance and it is not designed to happen according to a universal schedule. You do not owe anyone an impressive life. You owe yourself honesty, integrity, lifelong learning, growth and daily improvement. You can start late and still win. Keep faith alive!

By: M. Muniru Husseini, PhD
The writer is a Marketing Strategist and lecturer